I had lunch with the girls from work today, Nicki and Kathryn, and we sat on the secret bench and watched the world go by over sandwiches (cheese for them, tuna for me, if you were wondering).
“Have you seen anymore maned wolves lately?” Kathryn asked me, feigning innocence.
You might recall Kathryn from her earlier traumatic alleged sighting of these long legged critters hanging around sneakily (her words) outside my flat.
“I have, actually,” I told her.
And I really have. You know how you can happily go your entire life without being aware of something, but then once you know about it, you see it everywhere?
I was minding my own business the other day, bouncing happily online from one pointless site to another, when suddenly, I found this: 18 images you won’t believe aren’t photoshopped. All these are pretty creepy, especially the seaweed waves (waves = shudder) and the ants (recently I have begun to suspect a diabolical ant plot against me, after one made me show my bra to a pretty senior chap at work – more on that later) but ESPECIALLY #13.
#13 is a maned wolf PRETENDING TO BE BAMBI. Why are your legs so long, Bambi? All the better to run after you and launch myself at your throat, Amanda.
I knew it.
So I saw that dude, and had a minor panic attack, and then my sister text me this.
Three maned wolf sightings in under a week. Coincidence?I don’t think so.
Then my sister pointed something else out.
“He looks like Maugrim.”
As though being a creepy fox/hyena on stilts, this guy also looks like my worst nightmare.
Maugrim from the Original BBC Adaptation of the Chroni(what)cles of Narnia.
Literally, my worst nightmare. He haunted my dreams as a child. My mum swears it only happened a few times, but I know I had a recurring dream at least every other week for about three years.
Maugrim lived in the sideboard. And he’d pop out every now and then to roar at us in his very realistic way. And then he’d creep around at night and leave glasses of water everywhere. I’m not completely sure why, but it was very bad.
Googling this picture was actually a bit traumatic.
The guy who played Maugrim left a post on his imdb page a few years ago, asking if anyone liked his films, and for a long time no one responded. I felt a bit sorry for him, then remembered the hell he’d put me through. He will live on in the fearful corners of so many people’s minds, and he probably doesn’t even realise the extent. Though after a while one guy did reply with”Your performance in The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe is superb. You managed a menacing, believable performance” which, to be fair, is true, but doesn’t make that guy any less of a suck up.
I had lunch with my friend Luke yesterday.
“I read your blog,” he told me. “I was very confused until the end, when I realised you meant a MANED wolf – I’d thought you meant manned wolf, like, a wolf with a man on its back. Or … a wolf, with a man’s face.”
These images are both possibly even more terrifying than Maugrim.